Kids and Holiday Stress
Adults aren’t the only ones who find the season challenging
Feeling overwhelmed by the rush of holiday shopping, cooking and events? “Children get stressed around the holidays too,” says pediatrician Barbara Katz, M.D., of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. If your offspring are acting up, here’s what may be going on:
They’re “catching” it from you. “It’s striking how much our moods affect our children,” says Katz’ colleague, certified parent educator Shel Dougherty. “If you’re stressed, your children will pick up that vibe.”
Their routine is off. School’s out and the house is full of people. “How children react depends on their personalities,” Katz says. “Some go with the flow, but others, especially little ones, really need a routine. It helps if you prepare them for what’s going to happen—for example, show pictures of who’s coming to visit.”
They’re short of sleep. When you’re busy with seasonal responsibilities, bedtime rules tend to slip. Don’t let it happen. “A child who’s sleep-deprived is not only fussy, but more vulnerable to winter illnesses,” Katz says.
They’re on a sugar high. “There’s nothing wrong with holiday treats,” Katz says. “Just have a couple of healthy meals a day to balance it out.”
They’ve got the “gimmes.” With the onslaught of holiday ads and trips to the mall, greediness is hard to avoid. “Teach your children the joy of giving as well as receiving,” Dougherty says. “And you can turn some wishes into earning opportunities. Say, ‘I’m not willing (or able) to buy you that, but I’ll support you in saving for it.’”
Kids and Holiday Stress
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610-402-CARE.
What children want most is your time and attention—the very things that tend to be in short supply this time of year. So put down that to-do list and just have fun together. “Even five minutes of focused time from a parent fills up their emotional gas tank so they don’t need to misbehave,” Dougherty says.
Build a tradition, like football in the snow or Monopoly on New Year’s. Do a family service project together. Dougherty’s family holds an “encouragement circle.” “Each person sits in the middle and everyone else tells ‘what I love about you.’ Then the person in the middle tells what he loves about himself,” she says. “By then, presents are just icing on the cake. You’re centering your family on what really matters.”
What About Teens?
Young adults have their own holiday stresses, says Sarah Stevens, M.D., Lehigh Valley Hospital adolescent medicine specialist. Gift exchanges with friends can be emotionally loaded— and expensive. Festive foods are a minefield for teens with eating disorders. Looming midterms can create stress (and lack of sleep). And this is the age for questioning traditional religious beliefs.
Then there’s the push-pull of family versus peers. “If your teen wants to be with friends instead of spending the whole time with you, don’t panic; it’s what teens do,” Stevens says. It’s extrasensitive if you have a college student home for the holidays. She’s been on her own and may chafe at having to follow your rules again.
Be flexible and communicate openly. Your teen may be growing up, but as she probably knows, family is still what the holidays are all about.
Want to Know More about meaningful holiday gifts for children, or about how much sleep they need? Call 610-402-CARE.
Published from Healthy You Magazine, November-December 2008
This page last updated 10/21/08 05:27 PM
